


What Do You Mean, "Breakfast?"

by DoctorQui



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, asking out mishaps, based on a thing that happened to me irl, jesse is dense as shit, this was supposed to be like 700 words how did it get this long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 01:45:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8647048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorQui/pseuds/DoctorQui
Summary: McCree and Hanzo have an interesting encounter that McCree wildly misinterprets. Shenanigans ensue.





	

Jesse McCree was not a lightweight by any means. Through years of practice, the man could hold quite a bit of liquor. The same couldn’t be said, however, for Hanzo Shimada. Last night the team returned after an extremely successful mission in Dorado. Blood still pounding with the aftermath of their victory, they agreed that a round of drinks was in order. Just one or two. Or three.

  
By the fourth, McCree was pleasantly buzzed. But just next to him Hanzo was almost entirely gone, swaying in his seat and muttering something incomprehensible in Japanese. Funny as it was, McCree was growing concerned.

  
“Maybe you should slow down there, partner,” he said with a smirk, nudging him gently just as Genji snapped another picture with Hana’s cell phone.  
Hanzo merely grunted and knocked back another shot. McCree sighed, seeing no other option but to step in. Genji had enough blackmail material for the night, anyhow.

  
“Ok, c’mon then, we’re gettin’ you home. Don’t want you nastier than a rattlesnake in the mornin’.” He stood, looping an arm around Hanzo’s shoulders and pulling him up. Surprisingly, he was met with no protest--either that or he was very light. Maybe both? At any rate, he pulled again, attempting to help the stumbling archer back to his room.

  
The two made it about four steps forward before collapsing onto the couch in a heap. Hanzo promptly went out like a light. McCree stifled a laugh before settling down, vaguely aware of the sound of a camera shutter in background. It didn’t seem like Hanzo was going to wake up anytime soon, so he figured he might as well get comfortable. As the night wore on and the room quieted, he too fell asleep, serape wrapped around them both.

  
\---

  
McCree awoke biting back a curse, the harshness of daylight assaulting his vision. He shifted in an attempt to get comfortable, but stopped short at the weight on his chest. _Shit_ , right. Hanzo. When he cracked open his eyes he was greeted with the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. Hanzo was pressed into his chest, long hair fanning out over his shoulders (the hair ribbon had fallen out during the night). He was soundly asleep, features relaxed, the picture of peace. McCree mouthed a silent _“thank you”_ to the ceiling, desperately hoping his rapid heartbeat wouldn’t wake Hanzo up.

  
Alas, that was not to be. Hanzo’s long eyelashes fluttered open and he grunted with the adjustment to daylight before locking his gaze onto McCree. He tensed, expecting Hanzo to be hungover and grumpy as all get out, but was instead met with a soft smile and a sigh as he dropped his head back down.

  
“Hey.”

  
McCree blinked. This wasn’t unpleasant, not at all, but he found he didn’t quite know what to do. He and Hanzo had grown quite close over the past few months, but quiet moments like this with only the two of them were few and far in between.

  
“Uh, hey there. Feelin’ alright?” he questioned softly, wondering if Hanzo had any sort of hangover whatsoever.

  
“Mm. Fine. Don’t move,” Hanzo mumbled, burying his face deeper in the serape. His accent was thicker when he was still half-asleep, McCree noticed. Between that and his mumbling, he could barely understand him. Still, he was content to obey what little he could hear--don’t move, stay still, and let the extremely cute archer who you’ve been crushing on for forever cuddle with you. Fine by him.

  
They laid there for a while, the dawning light now a gentle glow. It was peaceful, only the quiet sounds of breathing and the little specks of dust inhabiting the room with them. _I could get used to this_ , McCree thought, tightening his arms around Hanzo. A lovely moment on a slow morning, a rarity for them both.

  
After a few more minutes Hanzo shifted, mumbling something into the serape. Straining to hear, McCree wracked his brain to piece together the words-- _”Do you want to get breakfast?”_

  
He let out a soft laugh, patting Hanzo’s back. “Sure thing, darlin’. ‘M pretty hungry anyway, should probably get up and make somethin’.”

  
Hanzo looked up at that, head tilted. He seemed confused about something, but McCree was more focused on his bedhead. His hair was mussed from sleeping, half sticking to his face and half strangely out. It was endearing, so much so that McCree couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and tucking a lock behind his ear.

  
“Let’s get up, yeah?”

  
Hanzo simply nodded, content, and sat up. As he stretched, McCree took the moment to admire the way his kyudo-gi shifted along his back. Hanzo rose with McCree following after him, trotting over to the fridge. There was some some rice and a few eggs leftover. It’d do just fine for today.

  
\---

  
The rest of the day passed quite normally, as if the night before and the morning after didn’t happen at all. Yet Hanzo seemed… softer, somehow. He didn’t snap criticisms as he usually would and his gaze was warm and welcoming. He also seemed much more touchy, laying a hand on McCree’s arm or shoulder frequently. Hanzo accompanied McCree to shooting practice and sparring, as per usual, and they waved hello to the rest of the team, receiving various knowing looks and finger guns in response. By the time evening came in and Hanzo left for his regular meditation with Genji, McCree felt more relaxed than he had in a long time.

  
But in Overwatch, peace never lasted long. McCree had about half an hour to himself before his door was just about busted down, Genji stomping in with Hanzo in tow. Hanzo was shouting something at Genji, his voice low and grumbling, but Genji didn’t care to listen. Whatever happened, he was _pissed_.

  
“‘Sup, fellas? Got somethin’ on your mind?” McCree stood from the bed where he’d been reclining, hands on his hips.

  
“Yes, _McCree_ , I have something on my mind.” Genji spat his name as if it was poison, crossing his arms. McCree looked over towards Hanzo for some sort of hint as to what made Genji so mad, but he was pointedly looking anywhere but at him.

  
“Uh… Care to share? Somethin’ I did?” McCree started, confusion lacing his words.

  
“You _know_ what you did, McCree! Don’t play innocent with me.” He marched over and stabbed a finger into McCree’s chest harshly.

  
“Jeez, Genj, c’mon now. Give a man a break. I ain’t seen you all day, ain’t nothin’ I’ve done wrong!” McCree held his hands up. This was bizarre--what was going on? Just as Genji took another breath, Hanzo finally stepped up.

  
“He’s talking about this morning, Jesse. When we woke up.” He commented quietly, shuffling his feet and fidgeting with his hands.Genji seemed to tense further at the use of his first name-- _Jesse_ \--but was otherwise silent. This only confused McCree further, a frown twisting his face.

  
“Now what the hell are _you_ talkin’ about? I know English ain’t y’all’s first language, but just be clear for god’s sakes!” McCree threw his hands up, exasperated. Why couldn’t things just be _simple_ with the Shimadas?

  
Hanzo huffed impatiently. “I’m talking about when I asked you out, you fool.”

  
Everyone stopped.

  
“When you… What now?”

  
A pure, awkward quiet filled the room. You could’ve heard a pin drop, or a heartbeat--hell, McCree swore he heard Tracer blinking across the base.

  
The silence ended swiftly when Genji doubled over in laughter. Hanzo glowered at him, but Genji paid no mind and kept on guffawing. In between breathless laughs, he said something to Hanzo in Japanese before departing with a wave and disappearing down the hall, still struggling to get his giggles under control.

  
The quiet returned.

  
“So uh… wanna run that by me again?” McCree scuffed his foot at the ground and nervously rubbed the nape of his neck.

  
“This morning. On the couch. I asked if you wanted to go out with me.” Hanzo stated simply. He was perfectly calm and collected, every bit the picture of poise he usually was, save for the massive blush climbing on his cheeks.

  
McCree’s mind wound back. This morning, the couch, the cuddling, the--oh. Oh. _Oh._

  
“Geezum crow. Geezum fuckin’ crow, oh my god, christ almighty, I can’t believe--” McCree threw his head in his hands and began pacing around the room. This was so embarrassing. Beyond embarrassing. He couldn’t _believe_ this.

  
“Jesse, are you--”

  
McCree peeked through his fingers, looking towards Hanzo. He was a grown-ass man, he could face this like one. Putting his hands down, he took a deep breath and began, “I’m fine! More than fine! I just--ok, so, um, don’t be mad, I just. This morning. Oh lord--I thought, uh. I thought you asked if I, uh, wanted to get breakfast. Not. What you actually said.”

  
Silence once more.

  
“I see.” Hanzo said, crossing his arms. “So then, that explains your behavior throughout the day. I thought it was a bit… strange, especially with how open you are normally.” He looked towards the floor as if… disappointed?

  
It took a moment, but when it clicked, it _clicked_. “Oh! Oh my god, Hanzo, darlin’, sweetie, honey buns, I still like you! A whole lot. If um, if you’d still like to do good on that offer I... I’m more than willin’ to accept.”

  
If he was going to make a fool of himself, might as well go all the way, right? Hanzo would probably never see him as smart or capable again after this so he didn’t have much to lose.

  
“I’d love to date you, darlin’. Real proper n’ all. If you’ll still have my dense-ass self.” He grinned, stepping forward and taking Hanzo’s hands slowly, watching to see his reaction. Hanzo bit his lip as if holding something back, before snorting a laugh and throwing his arms around McCree in a hug.

  
“You are quite possibly the stupidest person I’ve ever met, cowman. It is… endearing.” He drew back to look up at McCree with shining eyes. And if _that_ wasn’t the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen, he didn’t know what was.

  
“Sure am, sweetheart. But ‘m your cowman.” McCree leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to Hanzo’s lips. Hanzo laughed again and yanked him down, standing on his toes to reach him.

  
Jesse McCree was not a lightweight by any means, but at this moment he was glad as hell that Hanzo Shimada was.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this actually happened to me, sans the alcohol. I was cuddling with a girl who slept over at my house and when we woke up she asked me out. However, because of her accent (she’s Polish) and the sleepiness and the fact that her face was kinda mushed into a pillow, I heard it as “do you want to get breakfast.” I found out what she actually said later that night when our mutual friend harassed me over twitter about something she wouldn’t say because “I knew what I did.” Difference being I didn’t end up dating the girl, but yeah. I headcanon Jesse as immensely dense, unfortunately so as I know what it’s like to be that dense lmfao.
> 
> A super super special thank you to my Betas! [Nightmaresleuth](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sleuth/pseuds/sleuth), [Tim Tim Panda](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Megeara/pseuds/Megeara), and [Mango](http://archiveofourown.org/users/malevolentmango), y'all are the best. Shoutout to the rest of the McHanzone discord, you guys are wonderful.
> 
> Thank you for reading! If you like my writing or just want to scream with me about anything at all feel free to check out my [tumblr](http://schrodingerslion.tumblr.com)! I'm always looking for new prompts and love chatting with folks.
> 
> EDIT: 200 kudos??? Holy shit, y'all too kind. Making my month, you sweethearts you.


End file.
